Everyday I'm Hustlin'

Dilbert: an office loser. Any office employee who embodies some characteristics of the main character in the comic strip Dilbert, created by Scott Adams, which depicts employees who work in cubicles for a clueless boss at a large company.
The young Dilbert tried in vain to sell his boss on the new technology, but his boss told him to shut up and consider himself lucky he even has a Coleco.

Note: above term and comic are unrelated to below
news—just funny and mildly timely.

I start work Monday, well, technically I start an internship Monday. I’ll be doing marketing—press releases, product promos, stuff like that—for a small medical technology company. It really just fell into my lap. I randomly applied as someone's personal assistant not knowing who it is, who happened to be president of this company. Then, his marketing manager called to say the assistant position was filled, but they wanted me somewhere else.

I still don’t know everything about the job, but I think it could be an interesting experience. Plus, it’s paid (thank Hashem). It will be full time for the next few months making it a temporary solution to unemployment. Unfortunately, this also means you won't be hearing from me as much. Dry your eyes, little one, it'll be okay.

I'm grateful for the opportunity but am always looking for ways to make a buck. Despite a few obvious kinks to work out, here are a couple ideas I came up with:

Start gambling. My gambling experience extends to walking through Caesars Palace once. I don't even know how to play poker. But I am prepared to be that woman sitting at the slot machines eating peanuts for six hours straight. Something about no clocks and highly oxidized air gives me a good feeling.

Sell my plasma. Despite the fact I've never really donated blood and needles make me a bit queezy, I think this could be a real money maker. I even overheard a girl say she made $60 from doing it the other day—not bad! Then I came across this graphic that made me want to throw up in my mouth a little.

This looks unsanitary.

Become an undercover taxi driver. I've always thought driving a cab would be kinda fun, but I have no interest in becoming registered or dealing with drunk men. So I think I should just do it on the down-low on my own terms for people I trust. Oh yeah, I don't exactly have my own car or any sense of direction, but I can usually borrow my mom's or you can just ride on my handle bars.

My plans may seem a little flawed, but I can work around these issues—you could even help me out. Teach me poker, give me a vile of your blood or lend me your car a few times a week. I will also accept cold hard cash.

Moving on, is anyone else as jazzed for Where the Wild Things Are as I am? The trailer looks awesome and Arcade Fire doesn't hurt either. I weirdly get choked up whenever I watch this:



I was thinking how cool Spike Jonze must be and how he dates Michelle Williams, who has become a huge star like former Dawson's Creek co-star Katie Holmes. So what happened to that other guy?

Poor James Van Der Beek

Until next time, keep your day job.


-J.