Because bsto Told Me To

New Ageist: Used to describe individuals who discriminate against others who are not overly focused on self-improvement. Such people often look down on people who do not practice yoga, eat organic, and believe in energy fields.

My date last night was a disaster because the guy is completely New Ageist. He is seriously opposed to dating girls who are not into meditation and eating sprouts. 

'Ello 'ello on a Friday. Hope you all had a nice week. Mine was uneventful... actually it was kind of a FML week. I suddenly realized that I have a shit ton of school stuff coming up in the near future, none of which I have started. Good thing I did NOT spend my morning watching "White Chicks."

The scariest-looking Caucasian women I've ever laid my eyes on. 

So I've kind of lost interest in showering these days. I say "lost interest" because it makes it sound like a conscious decision, something I don't care for anymore, something I'm above. I'm above personal hygiene, you see. I used to shower so my hair looked decent, but in this unholy weather I can solve this problem by simply hiding in an oversized hat and scarf. No one has to see my unsightly locks and my potential stench is smothered from layers of clothing. It's a win-win situation, don't you agree? 

Speaking of clothes, I have a few fashion predictions for the upcoming season. First, big chunky wrap scarves/neck warmers that you can just twirl over your neck. 

Second: assymetrical earrings. Why haven't more women worn them in the past? I realize they come in pairs like shoes, but unlike feet it's not uncomfortable if they don't match. I noticed a lot of girls wearing them in Europe and thought it looked really cool. Different shapes, lengths, and colors can definitely add some whimsical flavor to your outfit. 

Third: Male facial hair. Now, I'm not sure if this qualifies as an accessory, but it's something you can change regularly to express your mood/style. If your face is capable of growing a beard, think of all the different, exciting looks you can pull off: 

 Stoic ironic hipster

Retro jokester 

Man's man/lazy ass dude

I may be one of the few girls who digs facial hair—it adds character and can highlight something about a personality. If my legs were on my face, I'd be quite the lady killer myself... woof. 

Alright, I've embarrassed myself enough for one day. Until then, don't lay a hand on a woman—that goes for you too CB. (Too soon?)

- J.